I'm Not Your Hero
by Prustrian Informant
Summary: Izaya accidentally saves Kasuka, not meaning to, but he does. Shizuo starts to misinterpret things and suddenly Izaya is forced to clear his murky name before Shizuo's feelings rub off on him. Oh, but the life of a troll is a hard one.
1. Initial Incident

**_A/N: Hi there. This is my attempt to fulfill a kinkmeme I found on livejournal. I was just minding my own business when I saw the idea and went, "WHY DOES THIS NOT EXIST YET?" Needless to say, I was almost late for work because of this idea. Thank you, the words in their place is mine, but the original idea and characters are not. Hopefully, this makes someone's day. _**

**_LJ Prompt:_**_** Purely by coincidence, Izaya happens to save Kasuka's life. He didn't even mean to save him, but in the scheme of all his plans it just worked out that , Shizuo finds out about it and starts to change his opinion of time Izaya insists he didn't intend to save Kasuka's life, Shizuo is convinced he's just being modest. Shizuo misinterprets more and more things that the informant does as "disguised good deeds," he starts to kindamaybesorta fall in love with Izaya (even though at first he may deny it a little). As Izaya tries to sabotage himself and clear the "good name" he's made with Shizuo, he starts to fall in love too.**_

~.~ Enjoy the insanity of which is my mind ~.~

In the life of an actor, one didn't expect to have any real problems besides stalkers and stalkers and people who didn't like you.

Kasuka was used to this.

"Yuhei-san!" His bodyguards cried out as Kasuka turned, oblivious to his surroundings as his thoughts of how narrowly he had escaped yet another group of fangirls distracted him. He frowned as he saw the men running forward. They must have fell behind. They weren't the brightest of the bunch. A loud blaring interrupted his thoughts as Kasuka turned to see a van zooming forward, about to hit him.

OH SHIT!

He stared in surprise at the vehicle as it moved almost in slow motion to hit him. He was like a deer in headlights. There was no escape. He was a goner. He didn't have the type of strength his brother had, this would kill him.

"IZAYA~"

Something rammed into his side as Kasuka stood transfixed by the vehicle in front of him. The world spun before his eyes as crimson reflected his impassive face back.

Orihara Izaya.

The famous informant of Shinjuku.

He was staring back at him, pulling him out of the way just in the nick of time.

Time resumed its normal speed as Kasuka felt himself land on the informant. The bodyguards rushed over to hover about in a panic.

"Yuhei-san!"

"Who the hell was supposed to be watching him?"

"What were you guys doing?"

Shizuo stood in shock, the stop sign in his hands falling to the ground.

Fangirls nearby shrieked, "OH MY GOD! HE WAS ALMOST KILLED!"

"YUHEI!"

"SOMEONE TELL ME HIS RESCUER'S NAME!"

"I LOVE THEM BOTH!"

The van screeched to a halt before the man inside bolted out, looking panicked, "are you both alright?"

Slowly, Kasuka gathered his inner storm and nodded, "I'm fine."

Izaya sat up and winced, gathering notice by even more than the actor and the nearby fangirls.

"OH MY GOD! Yuhei's rescuer is bleeding!"

"SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"Are you alright sir," one of the bodyguards moved forward and bent over, addressing the informant.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. I was just a little scratched."

"Brother…" Kasuka looked over to find the blond remaining in place.

"Yuhei-san. We should get you to safety."

Kasuka nodded before waving the man off, moving forward, he held out a hand to the informant. The man looked up at him before snorting quietly, "it was nothing. Hurry up and get to safety."

Chivalry? Modesty?

Kasuka gave the man a small smile before returning to his impassive state and leaving the scene. He nodded to one of his men before they left, "make sure he is properly taken care of."

The fans squealing in the streets would be heard the rest of the week.

~.~

Less than one minute.

That was exactly how long it had taken for Izaya to royally fuck himself up. He had saved Shizu-chan's brother!

He had just been minding his own business, getting chased by Shizu-chan, going on about his daily routine, and Kasuka just had to get in front of the van, he just had to be in danger, and of course, with his horrible luck, Izaya just had to accidentally save his life. It wasn't like he gave a shit, he had just been the unlucky bystander.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S IZAYA!"

SHIT!

Izaya looked behind him before breaking into yet another sprint. He threw himself onto an alleyway fire escape before climbing up the side of the building. The girls were smarter than the others, they followed after him at a breakneck pace.

"WE LOVE YOU!"

_No, my precious humans! You are just being insane! _Of all the times for his humans to love him back.

"IZAYA-CHAN!"

Izaya leaped down onto an overhang and rolled off onto the sidewalk, quickly continuing down the street. It wasn't safe anywhere!

He screeched to a halt as another wave of fans appeared before him. He was walking on thin ice, traversing through tall grass with no pokemon in his party. Basically, he was fucked.

"THERE HE IS!"

Izaya threw himself upon a nearby passing vehicle and climbed onto the roof, riding down the street before leaping off to reach safety.

"Thief!"

Shouting to his left caught him by shock, so much so that he lost his balance and went flailing off the roof of a car and falling against a man running down the street. His fans paused before him and shrieked.

"OH MY GOD!"

"OH!"

"I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!"

Izaya rubbed his once again sore, bleeding back and looked over to find a policeman handcuffing the man he had fallen on. A woman picked up the purse the other had dropped and checked it a split second before flinging herself into his arms.

"Thank you."

"…um…"

She pulled back to smile at him, tears streaming down her face, "my son is suffering from cancer and my paycheck for his treatment is in here." She held him tighter and sobbed into his arms, "Thank you… Thank you so much…"

"He's a hero!"

"I'm going to have his babies!"

Izaya, very disturbed by the mess, pulled back, "miss… it was nothing."

She cupped his face and kissed him before media came.

"Orihara!"

"How does it feel to have saved another person in need?"

"Are you trying to impress someone?"

"Are you thinking of becoming famous?"

Izaya stood up, pulling away from the woman again, he turned and sprinted off again, leaving no comment. He didn't stop running until he reached the safety of his apartment. Ignoring the murmurs of his neighbors and beloved humans, he threw himself into his home and slammed the door shut.

"Welcome back, _hero_." Namie didn't even look up.

"Oh Namie-chan, as if I would care so much!" Izaya laughed, "my naïve little humans, they assume too much."

"Fine. I really don't care. I'm done with your paperwork so I'm leaving."

"Bye Namie-chan~ I'll miss you ever so much~ I know how much you can't resist a hero." He smirked as the room turned several degrees colder. Namie glared at him in fury before slamming the door shut.

How funny~ She was just so amusing.

He turned when he realized just what she had been doing, gifts lined his wall, blocking his view out his beloved floor to ceiling window.

Damn her, she probably put them there on purpose…

~.~

_**A/N: Aka, this is why I should never be left alone with a computer.**_


	2. The Humble Informant and his Ootoro

_Izaya saved Kasuka…_

_ That _Louse _saved Kasuka. _

Shizuo watched the footage on tv yet again and watched the determined look on Izaya's face as he leaped in front of the van, saving his brother. He paused and looked at the informant closer.

_This is impossible. _

_ That…that… FLEA cares nothing about anyone but himself!_

Sighing, he shut off the old feed and smoked through another cigarette. "Kasuka, you should be getting some sleep."

"…" The actor stood behind him staring at his reflection in the screen.

"What is it?"

"Izaya… isn't actually that bad…"

Shizuo turned to respond when his brother grabbed the remote. A woman wept on the screen, holding a young boy in her arms.

"He's going through such tough chemo that I have to use most of my paycheck. If it wasn't for Mr. Orihara, my boy would not have been able to go through his surgery today and I wouldn't be holding a healthy young man in my arms. Thank you so much Izaya-san!" She sobbed harder, her son smiling as he hugged her, "I'm just… so thankful… That man is an angel…"

Shizuo stared at the screen and felt one eye twitch. A what? Was the woman daft?

"You heard it here. First an actor, now a woman on the streets with no name. Truly it doesn't matter who it is, Orihara Izaya is selfless."

Selfless his ass, Shizuo couldn't believe his ears.

"…brother…"

Shizuo looked back to watch his brother standing behind him.

He couldn't be wrong. The Louse was nothing but a pain to society. He was a burden. He caused agony. He caused suffering. He took pride in that. He…

Well…

Technically he had never truly seen the man _do _any of that. Izaya had always merely hinted at it.

"He's a bastard, Kasuka…"

"...maybe he wants you to believe that…"

The cigarette in his mouth fell out of his mouth as Shizuo froze. What… but…that was impossible. Every time that Shizuo was aggravated, annoyed, pissed, hating himself and everything in his life; that scumbag showed up… He always ended up having everything change around him afterwards too. Time off, losing that job he actually had hated… Oh shit, of course…

"I'm going out for a bit." He grabbed his vest and left his apartment, heading down the street wearily. He hadn't been too popular before, but now it seemed as if the world was just plain pissed with him.

A group of girls whispered from nearby. "Doesn't he chase my sweet Iza-baby?"

"If by yours you mean my beautiful devil, Izaya-chan, yeah."

The girls glared at one another as their friend smirked darkly, "can we focus on how that monster tries to attack Iza-chan?"

Shizuo turned as the trio started to follow him and gave them all a glare, "you mind?"

"Bastard!"

"You don't care for anyone at all, do you?"

"Look!" Shizuo rubbed at his fast growing headache as he spoke, "he's been a pest for-"

"He saved a boy from cancer!"

"The kid got surgery, whether or not the flea-"

"Monster!"

"Jerk!"

The women continued and his headache only grew.

"Bastard!"

"Jackass!"

Shizuo felt himself shaking by this point. Maybe if it was the first time this had happened he wouldn't care so much… or the second or third time…

No, this was at least the thousandth time. Now he remembered why he hated leaving his apartment.

"How can you chase someone who does so much for the world?"

"What did he ever truly do to you?"

"HE SLICED MY CHEST OPEN THE FIRST TIME WE MET!"

The women shrugged, "you were probably being a jerk before that though, weren't you?"

… He had said he didn't like the louse…

"He aids people in suicide!"

"Iza-neko-" the woman in the middle paused to squeal, "OH MY GOD! HE BET HE LOVES KITTENS!"

"HE MUST!"

"Pro-kitty."

"Do you think he owns one-"

"Ladies," the middle girl interrupted again, "focus! We're taking down the monster that chases him, remember?"

"Hai."

"Hai!" They glared at him again and Shizuo sighed.

"…How about I go apologize to him?"

"Tch, because just apologizing will repair the…OH! YOU KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?" They shot closer to him and swarmed, gaining two more nearby women. "You can show us where he lives?"

"I think I just fangasmed at the thought!"

"Yay! I can see where my future husband lives!"

"He's mine!"

"No!"

"Ladies! He's mine!"

The group imploded, going to the ground in a mass of hair and nails. They growled and hissed at one another, punching and ignoring their injuries as they attacked one another.

Nonetheless, Shizuo took the fine opportunity to hightail it away from them before they collected themselves again. Izaya had some messed up fans. Then again, the man himself was weird, smirking like he did and being a cocky bastard…

But he had saved Kasuka…

Shizuo paused at Russian Sushi and sighed. He could at least thank the man. He should show his brother that he could be a little reasonable.

~.~

Izaya threw himself into his apartment after yet another long day. Why were the Norse Gods messing with him? He was just minding his own business, speaking with clientele (who were not amused by the whole "hero" idea tied to his person). It couldn't die down though.

Fangirls chased him through the streets, screaming his precious name with "neko" or "chan" or even "hubby" (even from the male species) attached to it.

He'd been so busy running from them he'd accidently saved not one, not two, but FOUR people from being mugged, earning himself more attention and adoration with the media who seemed to have some kind of GPS device to his location.

Shiki was taking it well though…

He of course was using the opportunity as a reason to throw his name around as the boss of the hero of Ikebukuro.

…

Izaya made a mental note to send Ayakabashi another love email from the man.

The phone in his office stop ringing, causing the informant to finally notice that it had been ringing. He was getting so used to hearing it ring from fans who got a hold of his number.

Those Riara kids were spreading out his number like it was some kind of free candy.

_"Hi IzaIza! Erika here! Thought I would let you know that I'm wanting to apply as your personal bodyguard! I know how fans work. It starts simple; maybe some phone calls, chases down city streets, but I know it gets more intense. They'll be climbing your apartment walls, trying to rape you, plastering your face all over their stuff to show others. Then fanfictions, photoshops; your person will be impersonated a thousand times on social networks… You get the idea."_

…that was just freaking creepy…

_"Anyway~ I can contain the issue. Stop the problem before it becomes unbearable. So IzaIza, give me a call when you decide. Again, it's Erika Karisawa~ The greatest otaku you know~"_

The message ended before another came up.

_"Hi, Iza-honey~ Figured I call and let you know that I'm going to be coming home finally~! Don't worry. I got a key from a good friend and am on my way. I should be there by nine thirty."_

It was nine.

_"Bye sweety!" _A kissing sound was made before Izaya shuddered. He sprinted to his room and started to gather up his things, noticing some shirts and several boxers were missing. He shuddered before shutting his bag and running to the front door. He would call Erika once he was to a safer location.

Throwing the door open, he was so busy thinking he ran into his unexpected guest, hitting the man's chest in his oblivion.

Shizuo frowned, stopping him from landing on his bum. "Where are you going?"

"Not now, Shizzy. I gotta go before those women come back."

"What? You're talking to fast!" The blond glared at him.

"SHIZUO! MOVE!" Izaya glared at him almost frantically. He never lost his cool though. He was Orihara Izaya, shady information broker of Shinjuku.

Shizuo held him in place and pushed him back into the apartment. "Those women are everywhere, I doubt you'll be able to avoid them."

"I'm not staying here."

Shizuo pushed him onto the couch slightly roughly and dropped his bag into the man's lap. "Here."

Suspicious as ever, Izaya opened the bag to find a package of his beloved ootoro. The blond itched his head as he stood before him.

"I know it isn't much, but I owe you for saving my brother. You could have let him die, but you saved him instead."

Izaya felt his stomach curl with a foreign emotion, setting the delicious fatty tuna on the coffee table. "Shizu-chan~ I only saved him because he was in my way-"

"Stop being modest and eat." The ex-bartender sat down on the couch and blushed.

"I'm not being modest. You were chasing me, he was there, I wasn't paying attention. These things happen. Like with you and grabbing dogs to throw. It's not like you actually hate dogs, you just do it subconsciously."

The man let the statement sink in before smiling a bit behind his sunglasses. "So what you're saying is, you saved my brother because of a subconscious desire to save him from death…"

"Exact- NO!" Izaya flailed, "I just happened to be there! Maybe if your brother wasn't a complete idiot and actually was human rather than a media doll we wouldn't have-" Izaya froze as two arms wrapped around him. "…Shi-shizu-chan…w-w-what the h-hell are you doing?"

Shizuo continued the hug for several minutes before smirking, "you can stop being so humble about it."

"I'M NOT BEING HUMBLE! I WOULD KILL YOUR BROTHER TO SPITE YOU!"

"But you saved him…" the brute froze, pulling off his shades, revealing an epiphany-reached face, "which means…"

"Nothing. It means nothing, protozoan." Izaya grabbed the ootoro in frustration and began to eat. He was hungry from a whole day of being chased.

"…"

"Dish ish better than ushual."

"Russian Sushi just got their shipment of fresh fish in as I had walked in about ten minutes ago."

Izaya savored the delicacy as it soothed his weary body. Ah~ ootoro~ nothing knew him like his precious tuna~

He shut his eyes in bliss and leaned back on the couch, plopping another slice into his mouth and continuing his ootoro fest.

Next thing, a pair of lips met his, arms wrapping again around his waist. Izaya froze as something gained access into his mouth. Crimson eyes flew open only to grow into the size of saucers.

Shizuo.

Kissing him.

His mind continued to flash the word error as he remained still. The brute pulled back after a minute and blushed hard.

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE A HOMO!"

Izaya choked on some air as the duo on the couch looked over to find the fan from the voice mail standing in the doorway, her face downcast as she turned and sobbed.

"Damn. I was so excited. Finally, a guy who was completely selfless. I had so many plans. Should have guessed, I mean, how many straight guys wear a fur trimmed coat?" She let herself out, shutting the door.

Shizuo shook in amusement as Izaya gave his own apartment door a deathglare.

Gay?

Him?

He was most certainly not gay! He loved all his humans equally! The correct term would be bisexual but he was in fact not selfish enough to narrow his affection to any one soul. He was a God!

Shizuo smiled at him again, sending Izaya's creep-meter into overload, "thanks again for saving Kasuka."

"I didn't save him on purpose, Shizu-chan! It was a mere-" Again, the brute kissed him, pulling back when he was out of breath.

"Shut the fuck up and accept the gratitude, flea."

With that, the protozoan stood up, heading to the door and leaving him on the couch, panting for air. He huffed in aggravation and turned on the television, moaning in agony at the news.

_"Again, the hero of Ikebukuro strikes. Saving a total of four people, citizens of Tokyo are starting to find themselves attracted to this idea of helping where help is needed. Overall, crime rates seem to be on the decline with several gangs turning themselves in. Police officials are going to find themselves out of jobs at this rate."_

DAMN! He had spent _years_ developing this city's chaos!

Stupid Heiwajimas…

~.~

_**A/N: Oh, how I **_**love **_**my chaos. Can we say happy birthday to me? This was my present for myself. I think it turned out quite well. Figured I would begin to introduce some Shizaya because I CAN! MUAHAHAHA~**_

_**Oh, reviewers, you are all quite amusing. I particularly like the one who said that they wanted some Shizaya inserted. Enjoy my birthday present with me. Izaya with no control is like delicious ootoro. ^-^/ **_


	3. Fangirl Chaos Effect

Izaya cursed himself for every second he spent listening to the dial tone. He had no choice anymore; he had waited a night and now… he was missing his beloved fur-trimmed coat and had lipstick on his face.

He couldn't deal with the fangirls anymore.

"Karisawa Erika, great otaku of Ikebukuro speaking."

"Erika-chan!" Izaya oozed the fraternizing on for extra measure, "I wanted to accept your offer to help with the fan problem of mine?"

"IZAIZA!" Erika screeched, others in the background screaming in ecstasy as well, "moshi moshi! Of course! I'm on my way, sit tight and I'll be right over. I'll watch over you more than L watched Light on the video cameras!"

"Can you get _rid _of them?"

"Rid?" Erika laughed, "you were the one who decided to turn hero. You should have gone with the Dr. Stein from Stein's Gate method. Given you would need to get a texting time travel microwave, oh, and a fat sidekick… I wonder if Simon would take that position-"

"ERIKA!" Izaya heard the sound of his housedoor being opened and ducked into his bathroom, locking the door, "Get here immediately and take care of this."

"Yes Sir! One Switzerland defending Leichtenstein guard coming right up! You'll be safer than Diva in her storage container in the first season of Blood-„

"ERIKA!"

"Fine, fine~ Grouchy today." She hung up and Izaya listened to the sound of the fans moving towards the bathroom. He listened to the sound of scraping nails down the wood of the door and shuddered.

~.~

Shizuo didn't know quite why he was back, but as he looked up at the informant's apartment, he felt like he was doing the right thing. After spending a whole night thinking, he had come up with two outcomes. Either Izaya was the most black-hearted bastard he knew who happened to create a lot of good fortune or he was actually a nice guy who had a murky job.

Shinra and Celty were friends with him, so the informant couldn't be so bad…

Which meant he was nice…

Plus he saved Kasuka. The actor was highly impressed with him. He was even trying out for an informant part in a movie that would be shot soon over in the United States, a roll that would probably make him even more famous.

Shizuo himself…

He didn't really _hate _the man.

The hours at the bar had been difficult on him and he had never had time to visit Kasuka or do any shopping. He had had to have Kasuka buy him clothes and eat the food at the place when he could.

He had botched up his other jobs himself.

The louse had kept him from unleashing his fury on the entire city and his fellow classmates from his school. His temper had been only under the best control when he could chase the louse through the city and get rid of his energy.

That crimson eyed, lithe informant was always there. Always on his mind. He was always poking at him and he kept coming back.

He wasn't scared of him like many people were…

Shizuo paused as he stood in the louse's elevator.

Did he…

Did he love the flea?

No, he shook his head before pausing. Staring back at his blushing reflection. He covered his face and watched his eyes widen at the idea spreading through his head like a disease.

I…

I could love him.

_"Shizu-chan~" _The very image of the louse under him, claiming his affections was more than Shizuo could bear. He averted his gaze from his mirrored double and thanked the gods that the doors opened.

He hurried along to the informant's door and found it ajar.

"Izaya-san~"

"Iza-chan~'

"Come out~"

"Married~ married, married~"

Shizuo felt his sight turn red as the fangirls stated what they wanted to do to the flea. Oh, but he was going to kill some women here…

~.~

Izaya hid behind the shower curtain and worked quietly as the women searched for him. He typed away silently and worked with clients until he heard the sound of screaming. Looking up, he watched as a blade carved around the doorknob, "Izaya~"

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT DOOR!"

Izaya stared transfixed as the door burst open and Shizuo waltzed right in and picked him up, tossing him over his shoulder, Shizuo walked right passed them all, grabbing the informant's cellphone from the couch. Izaya held his laptop close and merely blinked at what was happening.

"Stay away from the louse," Shizuo warned the women as he walked out. They got into the elevator in silence, staring at one another's reflections as the box went down to the bottom floor.

Erika smiled at them as the doors opened, "Ah~ Shizu! I was going to ask you, can you be IzaIza's bodyguard? I would, but I have my own job to do and can't watch him."

"What?" Izaya stared at the woman in horror, "this brute watch me? He'll kill me!"

"I can watch him."

"Death by vending machine. I want that on my tombstone. I want nice flowers on my grave too, don't bother with those lousy cheep ones. I'm feeling roses. Roses would be good on my grave. Black preferably."

"That's great Shizu!" Erika smiled brightly and turned, starting to leave.

Izaya spoke up, "I wasn't done giving the specs for my grave yet!"

"Bye you two!" She waved and walked out before Izaya looked up at the monster holding him hostage.

"…"

"…"

"I'll come back later for your things…"

"I'm not having you for a bodyguard. I don't need one."

"Stop being stubborn."

"Shizu-chan, I would throw your brother in front of a semi for giggles. I would toss him into a pit with a lion and eat grapes for some afternoon entertainment. Heck, I would stab him myself, if it meant I could see you cry."

Shizuo stared at him a moment before laughing, "you really are trying to hide that you're a nice guy aren't you?"

"…If by nice you mean that homicidal, sadistic rival of yours then yes."

Shizuo laughed harder and began to carry him out, "you really need to stop being so humble."

"Shut up, Shizu-chan," Izaya sighed, tired of this whole situation. "I'm no more humble than you are human."

The ex-bartender grinned broadly as they headed towards Ikebukuro.

"Shizzy-chan~"

"Hmm?"

"Oh Shizzy-pants~" Izaya prodded more, trying to irk him off.

"What is it, I-za-ya-kun~" The blond elongated his name as he walked.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Home."

"Why? I'm going to destroy it."

"I'll protect you from all those insane fans of yours." The man smirked at him, "probably shouldn't have revealed to everyone that you were selfless."

"Selfless this," Izaya flailed for a minute before his laptop slipped from his grip. Gasping, he lunged for it, "NO!"

Shizuo lost his balance as the louse went to rescue his beloved computer and fell back, falling onto his butt as a car zoomed by, just where he was about to step. Izaya just barely saved his computer as the blond stared at the roadway, stunned. "…How did you know that car was coming?"

"….what?" Izaya turned to find the man chuckling, running a hand through his hair.

"And this time you ended up saving me… How the hell was I so wrong about you?"

~.~

_**A/N: OH~! I'm on a huge roll with this story. I mean HUGE! I have a good double update possibility on me. I think I'll be manipulative and see how reviews look. **_

_**Your reviews make me spin in my computer chair and laugh, disturbing my secretary greatly. By all means, continue~ ^-^/ **_


	4. Random Support

Shizuo picked the very irate informant up and set him in his arms bridal style. The informant held his computer to his chest and glared at him.

"Thanks for saving my life, Izaya."

"Go to hell, Shizu-chan. That car should have hit you."

"Shut up and stop being humble."

"I AM NOT BEING HUMBLE!" Izaya shook from fury and Shizuo laughed, what that louse wouldn't do to try to keep his murky name. The truth was out though. It was too late to return to being a menace of society.

They walked down the streets of Ikebukuro and Shizuo couldn't stop that feeling inside of him. It felt somewhat like pride… He felt above everyone around him, holding this flea in his arms. They headed down another road and Shizuo ignored the looks he was being given.

He paused as he felt his sunglasses being put on his face.

"Stop being so damn cheerful. I think I'm going to vomit."

"I was thinking sushi tonight."

"I was thinking go fuck yourself tonight."

The image from earlier flashed through his mind again and Shizuo shut his eyes, thankful his shades would block a bit of his face from the louse's scrutiny. "We'll grab something to eat later. Kasuka will probably join us too."

"Oh goodie! Quality brotherhood time. Just three guys and some beer, ne? Oh well, I haven't spoken to Kasuka in forever. Probably because unlike you he doesn't talk."

"Shut up," Shizuo rolled his eyes and let the comment slide. The flea was just feeling out of his element. Not used to this treatment probably.

"Shizu-chan~ I hate you~" Izaya glared at him and squirmed, his eyes growing wide as he came to some conclusion.

"Problem flea?"

"…my switchblade…"

Merry Christmas Shizuo, but he was just in the greatest mood of all time. Flea with no weapon? He had only dreamed of such a thing for years. The louse was at his mercy. He could do whatever he wanted…

"Ne, Shizu-chan~ You're face is red." Izaya frowned and poked at his face.

"Shut up." Mood dispelled a bit due to his discomfort, Shizuo made sure to hold the informant a little higher. Maybe he had a bit, a tiny little bit of affection towards the man. It wasn't like it was an uncommon thing in the world to have. Many people found him…

GAH! What was he thinking!

Shizuo hurried into his apartment complex and bounded up the stairs, ignoring the complaining informant in his arms as much as he could. He quickly unlocked his place and tossed the informant onto the couch like he was burning him.

"Ouch! Damn, Shizu-chan! I have a delicate stature. I would like to keep it unbruised."

The flea set his computer onto the coffee table and looked around. "…you have nice things…"

"Hmm?" Shizuo frowned, "do you have a problem with that?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I was just thinking," he grinned, "how does a monster not end up destroying his own things when he is prone to damaging everything in his path."

"It's called I have a budget." He wouldn't dare mention to the flea that he was in fact prone to breaking his own stuff. He didn't need more fuel to throw at him.

"Ah~ true, true…" Izaya fluffed up a pillow and curled up against it, yawning a bit as he relaxed. "You may wake me when Erika returns to free me from this prison. If my phone rings, wake me. If the computer makes any sounds, wake me. If someone comes to free me, wake me. Otherwise, leave me alone."

_"How about this," Shizuo walked across the room and pinned that louse to the couch, undoing his tie and tossing it across the room. He began to unbutton his shirt as the informant blushed. _

_ "Wh-what are you doing?"_

_ Shizuo lifted the brunet's chin and kissed him silent, feeling all his blood run south. "You're the informant. You tell me."_

"Earth to Shizu-chan~ Did you hear me?"

Shizuo blinked back to reality and nodded vaguely, "don't wake you unless you're needed."

"Mhmm." Izaya curled up tighter and Shizuo found himself biting his lip. The louse looked like a kitten like that. He was curled up and trying to cover himself up with the blanket on the couch completely. Plus that face he made…

AH! He couldn't take it!

Shizuo turned and all but sprinted to his bathroom. Damn…

How could someone just curl up like that and be so cute…

He couldn't get the image out of his mind…

Nor could he rid himself the image of what he wanted to do to the flea when he was laying at his mercy like that…

Damn… he really liked Izaya.

~.~

Damn, Shizu-chan. Izaya looked to find the man practically jumping into another room. He clearly had to use the crapper. Stretching, Izaya decided to take the liberty to accustom himself to his new surroundings. It was nicer than he had thought the brute would have.

Clean stainless steel kitchen, clean and cozy living room, the bedroom was made up nicely with a thick comforter…

Damn, did he have some kind of housekeeper keep the place up to date or something? He never would have imagined the ex-bartender going out shopping for nice things… or if he did, he could only see Shizu-chan lifting up the store supplies to hit the employees with. Izaya chuckled at the mental image of that.

_"WHAT YOU MEAN INTEREST?"_

_ "SIR! PLEASE PUT DOWN THE WASHING MACHINE!" _

_ Shizuo foaming at the mouth and roaring loudly as he took out stock._

Oh, but that was just the greatest image ever-

"What's so funny Louse?"

Izaya turned to find the blond standing behind him, slightly flushed. "What's up, Shizu-chan? Your face is all red… Were you masturbating in the bathroom? You know, if you're keeping me here, you will have to take those activities to work and do them there… then again, I suppose if you want to do it outside, I wouldn't mind."

The protozoan blushed harder and Izaya felt his eyes widen. Wait…

Was he actually masturbating in there?

"Shizu-chan! Just no~ What if I have to use the bathroom while I'm here? I can't have your nasty or its smell anywhere near me while I tinkle!"

"Shut up flea!" Shizuo covered his face and looked away, "I wasn't masturbating!"

"Nice cover, but your face is all red. You can't lie very well."

"I wasn't! I was just-"

Izaya shook his head, "Shizzy~ I'm hearing what you say, but your face is telling another story… one of which I don't need details about. Thank you."

The man stomped forward and grabbed the informant's hand, putting it on his crotch, "if I had masturbated, then why is this still here?"

Izaya blinked.

He looked down at where his hand was. He looked up at the brute's face for a moment before returning his gaze to where his hand rested.

An awkward silence went through the room as the two stood in the hallway. Izaya felt all the gears in his head just stop in their place, trying to take in this new information. He stared at his hand for a good few minutes before speaking carefully.

"….is my hand really on your crotch right now?"

"It's not on my leg."

"Yeah…"

"…"

"…"

Shizuo coughed, averting his gaze and turning dark scarlet.

"What a naughty thing to do Shizu-chan." Izaya tried to pull his hand away and found it stuck there because of the blond. He frowned and tugged a bit harder, eliciting a sound from the blond. His gaze flew immediately up to the now overly embarrassed blond.

"…"

"Shizu-chan… My hand? I know it's a nice hand, but I will need it for later."

The man released his hand and Izaya took a careful step back. He kept his gaze on the man and wondered briefly if that had indeed been a moan from the brute. Why would he be hard? Why did he just do that?

The blond frowned as Izaya laughed a bit, "what's so funny?"

"You are very unpredictable, Shizu-chan!" He laughed harder before heading to his laptop, "next thing I know, you might actually like me! Can you imagine?" He continued laughing all the way to his computer as the blond stood resolute, watching him intently before running to his bathroom again. This time, he was turning on the shower.

~.~

"…"

Izaya sat awkwardly in between the two Heiwajima brothers and ate his ramen quietly, watching the show on either side of him.

"It's nice to have you around again, Kasuka."

"…"

"It's been pretty quiet around without you coming over. I've been pretty much working mostly to keep busy. Then of course I've been chasing Izaya around for a while. It's going to be strange not to chase him anymore."

Izaya frowned, Shizuo wasn't going to chase him anymore? What the hell? He could feel his stomach gaining extra fat from the idea. Oh well, he would find a way to get his exercise. That or find a way to piss off the blond again.

"Good."

Wow, his brother was trying desperately to get a conversation in and Kasuka's only words- er, word, was saying good.

Ouch.

"Yeah, I'm hoping to get a raise soon from Tom, but that depends on our clientele. They tend to be stubborn pricks."

"…"

The blond frowned and continued eating. Izaya sighed, this was boring. It had been funny an hour ago, but now it was just plain pathetic.

"So Kasuka, what's going on in the world of acting?"

Kasuka's gaze turned to him and he shook his head, "nothing much."

"Come come~ all that drama and being locked in sets, there has to be something."

Kasuka shrugged, "my director is still hiring so there won't be anything going on until tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Shizuo looked over at him in half shock from him speaking and half shock at the day, "are you going to be leaving Ikebukuro then?"

The man nodded and returned to his noodles.

And it was back to silence. Izaya smirked evilly and turned to Kasuka once more, "you know~ they say communication is one of the most important parts of a human relationship. Although I suppose it doesn't count with Shizu-chan since he's not human, but a monster."

"I just don't have much to say. I'm still tired from my last film."

The duo blinked at the actor before the man continued.

"I will try to talk more I guess."

Izaya grinned, "You don't have to. After all, it's not like there's anything to talk about with the protozoan here." He laughed before going on, "why bother speaking to him anyway! What makes him so special? Some DNA that says your brothers? Brothers kill each other on battlefields every day-"

"You must care for my brother quite a bit," something in that tone caught Izaya's attention as the actor stood up and smiled.

Kasuka…

Smiling…

Izaya felt his insides dry up and die as Shizuo grinned back at him, "I'm glad you approve brother."

"Mhmm. I'll be back when I can." Kasuka set his bowl in the sink and grabbed his coat, walking out before Izaya could comment. He was still trying to compute that comment. Him? Care about Shizu-chan?

Crazy!

Insane!

Not anywhere near realistic in any sense of the term.

Shizuo chuckled as he set his bowl in the sink and started the wash water. "I haven't seen Kasuka smile like that since I was little."

"…"

"Thanks Izaya."

Izaya frowned, "why do you keep using my name? What happened to being that "louse" or "flea'?"

"I realized I was wrong about you-"

Izaya stood up abruptly and headed to the door, "I'm going out for a bit."

"Wait, Iz-"

Izaya threw the door shut behind him and tried to breathe despite the random chaos going through his head. Stupid monster.

Laughter burst forth from him as he walked. Of course the man was an idiot. Maybe his parents hated him and treated him the same way, making him think this was some kind of attraction between them. What an idiot! He would no doubt live his entire life alone at this rate. Oh well, he didn't have that long to live. He was going to kill the brute soon enough anyway. There was no need for him to do anything of use.

Why breed monsters?

He laughed until he got out into the streets and headed down the road.

Oh…

Whoops~

"IZAYA!"

"OH MY GOD! IT'S IZAYA ORIHARA!"

The informant looked at the fangirls lying in wait and took off running, cursing his distracted mind for forgetting about that wonderful little detail.

So much for enjoying a nice stroll.

~.~

_**A/N: XD DOUBLE UPDATE! GO TO NEXT CHAPPIE MY DEAR HUMANS!**_


	5. Robbers and Harassment

Shizuo sighed as he sat down in front of his television and flipped through channels. The informant had just run out as if hell was at his heels. Somehow, Shizuo was slightly hurt by that.

Tch, must be some bad ramen he had.

He scratched at his chin as he paused on the news. _"A robbery is currently occurring behind me. Police are urging people to use other routes to avoid agitating the thieves. So far, police know that there are fourteen hostages, possibly more. We are unsure of the robbers' demands but we are assured that no one inside is hurt at this time. OH! Someone is sprinting to the door!" _

The woman had the camera spun around as a raven-haired figure dashed up the steps, followed closely by many, many women behind him. He threw the doors open as a man moved just inside the doorway, something glinted before a loud bang was heard. The black-haired man moved quickly and sent the other man crumbling to the ground before darting into the building. The women behind him cheered before following him in.

_"This… is unbelievable! Orihara has struck again!"_

Shizuo stared at the screen before laughing, that louse…

OH CRAP! He was supposed to be guarding that flea!

Jumping up, Shizuo grabbed his jacket and rook off to the site. Izaya better not get hurt…

~.~

Izaya beat the man blocking a nice looking safe haven from the fangirls from him and entered the building, taking down three more gun wielding men. He darted passed a group of people who all tried to hug him for some insane reason and hid in a backroom. He listened as his fans ran passed, squealing for him and sighed.

Damn, he should have thought about this!

He slid to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself. He was getting really tired of this. He shut his eyes and curled up.

~.~

"Izaya-kun~-" Shizuo went searching through the building as he listened carefully. The fangirls were searching elsewhere for the man so it was obvious he hadn't left the building yet.

The sound of silence met him though.

"Izaya~"

He tried the flea's phone again and listened.

_"This flea is you and I; it's a bad thing, but a little thing but a little thing. A parasite that coexists, it's a bad thing but a little thing but a little thing. I'm a flea, who just wants, to share a thing~"_

Ah, Shizuo hurried over and jiggled the doorknob only to find the room locked. He pounded on the door and listened to the other side shuffle in shock.

"Izaya~ open the door."

"…"

"Izaya-kun~ open the door unless you want to sleep in a bank office all night."

The door unlocked before the informant peeked his head out, "they gone?"

"You won't have to worry about those women. Come on." Shizuo turned and bent down.

"…what are you doing?"

"Walking you out of here."

"What's wrong with me walking?"

Shizuo hurried to find an excuse for his random offer to carry the louse, "the fangirls won't suspect me to carry you anywhere. They still think I hate you."

"Except the one that broke into my apartment."

"Yeah, but she doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"Fine. Stay here." Shizuo stood up as the womens' voices grew closer. "Have the women find you and get plastered all over the news for saving several from a group of robbers."

"WHAT? I didn't do anything!"

"Of course you didn't." Shizuo rolled his eyes at yet another attempt by the flea to deny the truth. He started to walk away when he felt the man jump onto his back.

"Onward Shizu-chan! Hurry before those women return!"

Shizuo stopped to pull the man off and take off his coat, he wrapped it around the flea before picking him up.

"Hey! What-"

"I changed my mind, they won't recognize you if you're wearing my coat and in my arms."

"Your coat smells like you."

"Thanks flea."

"That wasn't a compliment."

Shizuo rolled his eyes as they walked out and headed home.

~.~

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT!" Izaya stood with a towel around his waist and glared at the brute sitting before him. "How do you forget something like this!"

"I was busy!"

"Watching tv! Yes, Shizu-chan! That's brilliant."

"Just borrow one of my shirts for tonight."

"And undergarments? What? Am I supposed to just let my manhood catch the breeze all night while I wear a servant shirt?"

"Bartender shirt," Shizuo corrected.

"…" Izaya glared at him, "Why the hell did you put my clothing in your laundry!"

"They were dirty!"

"THEY WERE FINE!"

"THERE WAS AN ENORMOUS STAIN ON THEM!"

"Stop being a freaking girl about it! They were fine!"

"Izaya, stop being a girl and just wear one of my shirts!"

Izaya crossed his arms and sat down, "protozoan! My clothes are expensive material, not your shitty excuse for clothing."

Shizuo turned to continue the argument but found himself distracted. Izaya was buck naked minus a towel, dripping wet, and looked pissed off.

Why did he find that to be a good thing?

"So Shizu-chan… How's the no violence thing going? You've only beaten so many people up with vending machines."

Another attempt to piss him off? He smiled back at the informant as he imagined ripping that towel off the informant right then and there. "It's been better than usual."

"I don't know-" He was cut off when the brute moved forward. Izaya flailed in the brute's arms as Shizuo carried him out of the living room, "What the hell? If you're going to kill me, just do it!"

"You just keep talking." Shizuo dumped him on his bed and went to his closet, pulling out a shirt and turning to the man. Izaya cowered back a little.

"Now, now Shizu-chan~ That would be rude to force someone to do something against their will. Just run by my place and grab my cloth-"

Shizuo leaned forward and kissed him, effectively shutting him up. He grabbed the flailing arms that were pressed to his chest and navigated them through the sleeves of the shirt, buttoning it up the small man before him. He pulled back as he finished and smirked, leaning his forehead against the informant's. "There. You're clothed."

"Sexual harassment is illegal, Shizu-chan…" Izaya glared at him and the blond smiled at him.

"Not when it's mutual." He reached down and pumped the half erect manhood below before walking out of his room, leaving the half aroused, half horrified informant sitting on his bed.

~.~

_**A/N: ^-^/ Because my humans were so sweet and updated… **_

_**-free chocolate from my work place given for your support- **_

_**By all means~ continue~**_


	6. Guests

Izaya remained on the bed for all but five minutes. To him though, it felt like eternity. His insides felt like they had seen medusa, he was frozen. He was turned to stone. He couldn't stop himself from remaining petrified.

The sounds of the brute in the other room instilled the idea that he was still yet alive. He couldn't move.

It was in that good while later that Shizuo returned to the room, dressed in boxers and toweling his hair dry. "Hello Izaya-kun."

"…" Now he knew why Kasuka was silent. Having this brute as his brother would make him mute too.

The protozoan walked over and sat down, pulling the informant into his arms and lying back onto the mattress.

"Shizuo."

"Yes, Izaya."

"Stop holding me."

"You looked out of it."

"I am clearly out of it."

"Stop talking then."

"No, I think talking is helping. Let go."

"Flea, this will help you."

" The only thing this is doing is making me consider a restraining order."

"I-za-ya-kun~ No one can get you when I'm holding you."

"My poor humans, no one will be able to save me. I'll die here. Damn, I was really looking forward to the vending machine death."

"You talk far too much for your own good."

"Did you take a psychology seminar on behaviorism or something? Positive reinforcement won't work on me."

Shizuo smirked, cuddling him closer, "I'll have to look one up."

"Oh yeah, Shizu-chan. Just google it like all the other protozoans."

Remaining still, they listened to silence before Izaya tried to pull away. "Shizu-chan~"

"What?"

"Let me go."

"Izaya, why are you trying to hide so much?"

"Hmm?"

Shizuo looked at him before finally letting him go, "Night Izaya." He rolled away and fell asleep quickly, leaving Izaya glaring at him.

Stupid brute.

Idiotic monster.

Cellphone vibrating, Izaya answered it blindly, "Hello?"

"IZA-CHAN! OH MY GOD YOU ANSWERED!" Murmuring in the background sent chills down the informant's spine.

"Hold on."

"Make him stay on the line."

Ten seconds and counting for tracking."

"Well done, Mia-chan!"

"Five."

"FOUR!"

"Three!"

Izaya hung up the phone and climbed over the brute, pulling his arms apart and climbing in between them. He snuggled in, cursing himself silently as he settled in and hid himself away from the world.

This was so moronic.

This was absolutely retarded.

Yes, let's encourage the blond's insisting sexual nature. That was a brilliant idea. He was just going to make this worse for himself. The monster would no doubt be worse tomorrow.

Then again, Shizuo versus fangirls…

He really needed to make a plan here.

Yes, he would figure out a way to stop the brute and the rest of Japan from thinking of him as some kind of hero. He could lay low, stay a recluse and spread rumors of his leaving to go to America or something so that he could get rid of the fans. Then for Shizuo…

He would just have to attempt to kill him in the most radical, purely his nature method that would cause the brute to have no choice except to admit that he, Orihara Izaya, was a 'flea'.

With wonderful dreams of being chased down the streets of Ikebukuro, Izaya fell asleep in the arms of the ex-bartender.

~.~

Shizuo woke up only to find himself smirking like an idiot. Izaya was curled up against him, warm as could be. His hair in disarray, his arms wrapped around him tight, Izaya looked…

Damn, he looked so cute.

Shizuo pulled away and stood up, itching himself as he headed out to the kitchen. The whole place was quiet, the sun shining through the windows as he pulled out some milk and drank it quietly.

A small sound of footsteps brought the informant running into the room, "Shizu-chan!"

The man tumbled against him and they both went falling to the floor. Izaya curled up on him and panted. He looked down at him in what could only be relief.

"Have a nightmare?"

"Fangirls… in the window."

"Hmm?"

"Trying to sneak in."

Sounds came from the bedroom and Shizuo rolled himself and the informant over, looking over as the girls came running in. They stopped in their tracks and stared at them. "Get the hell out of my house." With that, he leaned down and pulled the informant into his arms for what had to be one of the most shocking and exciting moments the women had ever seen.

If finding out Izaya was gay once got rid of the last one, why not these women?

~.~

_**A/N: ...Do you not understand what yaoi means, Shizu-chan? COME ON! -headdesk- **_

_**The review button is below, do not fear it, my dear humans, it is your friend. It gives you quicker updates.**_


	7. Yaoi is a Investation of the Mind

Their lips stayed melded together for several minutes as the women started in astonishment. Shizuo pulled back only to stare at the women in wonder. "What?"

If one word could trigger a fierce explosion, it was that question. The women squealed hopping on their feet. "Oh my GAWD!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

"THIS IS WHY YAOI EXISTS!"

Yaoi…

Shizuo frowned, what in the world could that mean?

Izaya was frozen in horror. He didn't move a muscle as Shizuo pulled him close and growled. "get out."

The women smiled at him, "Of course."

"Bye~"

"We'll see you later~."

A flash coerced Shizuo into a series of blinks, trying to regain his sight. The women laughed, rushing from the area as fast as they could.

"That was weird…" Effective, but weird.

"Protozoan…" Izaya glared at him, too breathless to fully speak, "you have no idea what you've done… do you?"

"I stopped them from bothering you."

"YAOI MEANS THEY THINK WE'RE GAY!"

Shizuo blinked before shrugging, "problem solved. You aren't going to be bothered by any more women."

Izaya opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, beyond words. He shook and Shizuo watched his face turn red, getting darker and darker.

"You're welcome." Shizuo stood up, grabbing his milk before going to sit down on his couch and watch some television. "Feel free to join, flea."

Izaya smiled, going before the television and blocking the screen.

"Move."

"Nope."

"MOVE FLEA!"

Ah, normalcy, you slowly return. Izaya reached behind the television and, with the pilfered knife, nipped the cord to the box.

Shizuo's gaze turned dark, "I-za-ya~ what the hell did you DO TO MY TV?" Shizuo ripped the leg of his coffee table off, glaring at him.

_Finally…_

Izaya awaited the throw, ready for the dodge and chase, the thrill of the fighting. He smirked his trademark smirk at the blond, watching him get pissed. He was so close, just so very close…

"Ah~ Shizu-chan~ What a pathetic monster…"

_Bingo._

Shizuo stood up in an offensive position, arm preparing for the fated throw that would begin the ultimate chase. The beginnings of another beautiful hatred.

Shizuo began to laugh, his whole person shaking in amusement. "Nice try~ it's too late to prove you're a bastard."

"Fuck you."

Shizuo dropped the coffee table leg, grabbing instead the informant's arm and dragging him in close. The man hovered over him, "don't say things you don't mean."

Izaya spun on his heals, going towards the door, "forget it. I'm leaving. I'll find a real bodyguard. I'll be fine on my own otherwise. I'll-"

Shizuo spun him around and slammed him against the door, smirking a bit. The informant felt his face take on a look of shock only seconds before Shizuo was kissing him…

AGAIN.

He shoved at the brute, sliding down to the floor before wiping his mouth in disgust. He glared up at him, his face burning with shame. "What the hell?"

Shizuo smiled at him, "You _are _gay."

"Bisexual, but NOT interested." Izaya slid to the side and grabbed the door handle, starting to open the door when it was slammed shut on him again. Shizuo turned his face to look at him before leaning in close.

"Not interested? Then why is your face red?"

"Because you're a furnace and I am coming down with a fever from being too close to a monster for such a long time."

"That's bullshit." Shizuo turned and headed back to his couch. "If you're going out, you owe me a new tv. I guess I have to thank you though, my tv was going out anyway."

Izaya looked over at him before stabbing the wall. "The wall need a hole in it as well, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo glared at him a minute before his eyes widened. Frowning, Izaya looked only to shriek, falling back into the arms of one running brute. Shizuo caught him and dragged him towards the bedroom. "I owe you for that. The damn apartment is invested. They probably would have ruined all of my things if you hadn't stabbed the wall like that."

Izaya just stopped thinking. That was it. He was done. He couldn't stop it. It was as if the whole world was relying on him being a good person. He would have to give up, give in to the change.

Shizuo packed a bag before calling the main owner of the apartment complex and explaining what he had found out. Izaya remained sitting by the door, watching silently as the insects crawled out of the wall. Disgusting.

"Come on, Izaya. We'll stay at your place." Shizuo wrapped an arm around him and held his bag over his shoulder, walking them out.

The reactions of his humans was shocking.

"…Is…is that Orihara and Heiwajima?"

"…Damn, those drugs were powerful!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"…damn, I must be hornier than I thought."

"I wanna be in that sandwich."

"It's…just…so… beautiful…"

"NOOOO! HOW DARE THAT BLOND MONSTER TAKE ORIHARA!"

"Fur trimmed coats… sure fire sign that the man's a gay."

"Those hips screamed homosexual."

"Well, at least the streets are safer now than ever before."

"Heiwajima's strength and Orihara's selflessness. I'm getting a need to draw some great fanart of those two as superheroes."

Izaya looked around as Shizuo led him to the outskirts of Ikebukuro and they entered Shinjuku. The blond seemed oblivious to the conversations.

"So who would top in _that?_"

"Oh…to be the uke for that…"

"Is everyone thinking with their hormones today?"

Izaya and Shizuo heard their names called as a trio of Riara students caught up to them. Kida grinned, "SUP GUYS! Heard the news, congrats!"

Mikado nodded, looking like he was feeling completely awkward around them. Izaya sighed before looking at them with his trademark smirk, "my humans are just so naïve. Thinking and assuming so much about little old me."

Shizuo shook his head, smirking a bit as well, "he's been humble as hell the entire time I've been with him."

Kida frowned a bit, "why did you save Yuhei-san?"

"I assure you the experience would have best been avoided, but someone was chasing me with a stop sign." Izaya shot the brute a look and Shizuo laughed, making the other four stiffen.

"Damn, Flea. Don't dump all the credit on me."

"But truly if Shizu-chan hadn't been trying to pound me into the ground again, I wouldn't have been running in the direction in the first place."

Kida and Mikado seemed to understand. They both frowned as Shizuo laughed harder.

"Idiot." He ruffled Izaya's hair and nodded to the kids, "we're heading home. You all should probably head to school."

"Right…" Kida grinned at him and grabbed Anri's and Mikado's hands. "You take it easy Heiwajima-san! Have fun being a superhero Orihara-san!"

Izaya looked at Shizuo brightly, "I should probably escort them to-"

"Nonsense. Come on, louse."

"Wha-" Izaya was tugged away from the safety of the high schoolers and led deeper into the area of Shinjuku. The blond opened his door and looked around his apartment, nodding.

"Looks like nothing much changed."

Izaya looked around and blinked. Someone had done some redecorating.

He didn't remember having at least two vending machines… nor any stop signs… nor did he remember the dirty toys sitting on his coffee table.

…

Humans were strange fetish-loving creatures…

~.~

_**A/N: If you think you're getting away, I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! I'll take you all the way, boy just come along. Just listen when I say~ It's murder on the dancefloor~ but you better not kill the groove. –singing and dancing-**_

_**I… have no idea… I'm going to work. Later peeps. Leave me a review, I read 'em during my breaks and laugh maniacally as I type more.**_


	8. Maybe I Like Kasuka More, ne?

Shizuo walked through the place as if it hadn't been home to some serious redecorating, dragging Izaya along with him. The toys sat on the informant's coffee table. _Tainting my innocent home, _Izaya thought as he poked at one with his feet. Shizuo looked down at him a moment before flicking on the television and settling on the sofa.

God, but Izaya felt like the woman in a bad stereotype couple.

Wait! Shizuo was distracted by the tv. That meant…

Slowly, his butt inched along the couch, the leather letting him slide along easily. He gripped the armrest tentatively, keeping his gaze locked on the brute. Almost…there…

NOW!

He flipped over the armrest and bolted, his feet thumping on the hardwood floors as fast as his heart raced against his ribcage. The door! The door! He had to get to the door!

An object flew passed his head before Izaya changed direction, heading for another door. He had to get away. If he could just get out of Shizuo's hold he could escape and reclaim his dignity!

The closet door met his grip and he lunged into the room, looking out to see Shizuo shaking his head and pulling out his cigarettes.

Izaya forced himself to calm as he met the comfort of his walkin closet. Rows of his beloved coats and his backup cell phones met his gaze. There we go. He was back in charge. He was going to be just fine. He would grab a coat, cell phone, switchblade, kill Shizu-chan, move along.

"Izaya, come out of there." Shizuo called.

"Just a moment."

"…I will bust down that door."

"You will replace my closet door if you do."

"GET OUT OF THE CLOSET!"

"Hmm… I was thinking of napping in here."

"IZAYAAAAAAA!"

A door opened and Izaya leaned his head against the door, frowning.

"Shizu! Where's IzaIza?"

"He won't come out of the closet."

A very long, loud amount of laughter erupted before Erika finally calmed down, "IzaIza won't admit it huh?"

"Admit?"

Izaya could only imagine what the otaku was doing.

"Yes, Shizuo! He loves you very much, but he won't admit it because he's a tsundere. He wants to have you dominate over him with many kinky toys and things." She must have seen the toys (or planted them there). "Oh! Look! He's all ready for you."

"So why's he in the closet then?"

"Hmm? Oh, see it's a physical and figurative thing. He needs you to pull him out of the closet. Then he can admit he loves you and you can proceed with lemons!"

"Lemons?"

"Lemons!"

"Does anyone understand a word you say?" Shizuo asked exasperatedly.

"All you need to know is that IzaIza loves you."

"…and I need to pull him out of the closet?"

_FOR THE LOVE OF- _Izaya looked around and dived underneath some of his coats as the door started to splinter. Within seconds, a gaping hole stood where the door had been.

The ex-bartender looked around as Erika squealed in delight. "Get him, Shizu! Love conquers all!"

"Shut up!"

Izaya flipped open the phone he had and dialed another of his cells, waiting as the brute picked it up. "So Shizu-chan? Should I consider this a confession from you?"

"A wha- hell no!"

"Then why are you listening to her?"

"You need to get out of the closet."

"You do know that means figuratively that I would be admitting I'm gay."

"Like hell it would, it would mean getting your ass out of this damn closet. Where are you?"

"In a safe place. Kasuka seems pretty cozy in this café."

Footsteps approached as Shizuo replied back, "did you leave?"

"Of course, Shizu-chan. Like I would care about your feeling-AGHH!" Izaya fell out of his long coats as Erika sent a kick to his tender area.

"I FOUND HIM!"

Blinking back tears, Izaya looked up to find Shizuo shaking his head. He threw the cellphone carelessly aside and walked over, picking the informant up like a child. "Figures you would try to mess with me. If you want to leave, just say so. Idiot." They headed back over to the couch as the otaku hovered behind them. "You don't need to be doing everything alone."

"Yes, Shizu! Tell IzaIza to share his feelings."

"Shizu-chan~" Izaya whined, holding onto the man's vest, "make everyone leave me alone. I'm just so tired of everyone bothering me…"

Bingo.

Shizuo looked over at Erika, "Karisawa, can you…"

The woman saluted us both, "not a problem. I will ensure that the otaku community and public at large leaves you alone and free to do as you please. So long as you both are in this relationship of yours, I will ensure your privacy remains yours."

"Thanks Erika." Shizuo smiled a bit before Erika went sprinting to the door.

Izaya waited a moment before the door shut to make his move. The monster walked them to the couch and began to set him down when Izaya lunged at him, slicing him across the chest. Shizuo's shirt started to become tinted red as the he clutched his shirt, glaring.

"WHAT THE HELL, FLEA?"

Izaya pulled away and smirked, "you honestly thought I would have feelings for you? What have you been smoking, Shizu-chan? I hate you. My love is only for my humans-"

A hand wrapped around his neck before Izaya found himself on his back, looking up at the man. He tried to lash out again only to find his knife stolen from him. Shizuo growled, "You think I'm going to let you cut me again? What the hell, Izaya-kun?"

"I hate-"

"Then why'd you save my brother?"

"Maybe I just like him more, ne?" Izaya laughed a bit before finding the blond walking away. Shizuo's face empty as the door shut behind him. Somehow… someway… Izaya just had a bad feeling about this…

~.~

He likes Kasuka more?

Shizuo headed to his brother's apartment studio in a daze. How? How could Izaya like his brother more? Then again, Kasuka was never hurting him. The blond rubbed his latest wound and sighed, maybe he should get some advice from his brother…


	9. Why Do I Feel This Way?

Every step Shizuo took led him more and more into doubt, into questioning what he was doing. His ignorance was gone unnoticed by the people around him. It was as if the man was wandering about in the midst of a dream, of a nightmare. He couldn't think for the very essence of his life.

What had Izaya meant?

He liked Kasuka more than him.

Lots of people loved Kasuka, he was an accomplished actor. He had movies that were shown around the world. He traveled to exotic places and got to do things that children only dreamed of doing. He won awards that gathered the envy of his fellows.

Shizuo himself…

He hadn't held down a stable job until Tom offered him the bodyguard gig. He was violent, often losing his temper over things that others would find trivial. He was known for getting into fights, usually either with gangs or, more commonly, the informant himself.

He didn't like it, he really didn't.

He couldn't tell what he felt, but Kasuka being regarded higher by the informant… for Izaya to feel more for the young actor…

It sent his temper boiling.

He just didn't know WHY!

He loved his brother. Kasuka was one of the only people in his life that, no matter how badly he screwed up, no matter how stupid a move he made; was always there for him.

…the very thought of Izaya doing that for him seemed so random and fantastical that it was almost impossible.

Shizuo couldn't deny that he really wanted that though.

He felt his heart race faster at the thought. His mind's eye danced with images of the informant being there for him, helping him out when he needed it, laughing with him for once about something trivial, them having an actual meal together and getting along. Them just watching television. Them walking down the street, not causing further bills to land on the city's government desks.

He wanted it. He wanted it so badly he could hardly breathe.

But Izaya had said that he loved Kasuka more.

The idea of Izaya doing all those normal things with Kasuka, the very thought of Izaya looking at Kasuka with such… such a caring gaze made Shizuo feel like destroying the entire city. He wanted to burn the skyscrapers to the ground and scream out into the midst of a storm. He wanted to lose his control and let the monster in him really be set free.

Why though?

He didn't understand why he was having these feelings run through him. He just couldn't wrap his mind around the reasoning behind all of his spiraling, conflicting emotions.

He loved Kasuka.

He loved his brother very much, but if he dared to encroach upon his flea…

Shizuo stopped in the middle of the street, his eyes widening as he thought more and more, his thoughts dashing beyond his control.

Why?

Why? Why? Why?

Why did he feel this way?

He couldn't understand! He didn't want to hurt his brother, but Izaya's words sent him into anger so strong that he felt like, if he let it be released, he would only end up hurting his sibling.

His sudden urge to see his brother was gone.

He didn't want to hurt Kasuka. He just wanted to turn around and make Izaya see reason. The only thought running through his mind that made any sense to him, the only thought that his consciousness was able to handle was that he wanted to be able to make the informant realize that he felt more towards his own self than to his brother. That, no matter how much Kasuka achieved, no matter how many miles Kasuka clocked, it couldn't compare.

Yeah, he needed to turn back and go see Izaya.

Unaware of the cars honking at him, Shizuo turned and headed back the way he had come. His thoughts were so focused, he walked directly passed Simon, ignoring the Russian's advertising. He walked past the otaku duo, Erika explaining more yaoi as Walker nodded.

His feet carried him past street after street. His body listening to the city signs and lights even as his mind ignored all of it. There was nothing else he wanted to think about tonight. There was nothing else that mattered.

Izaya.

The flea had infected his mind like a plague. He was in the final stage of the fall. The fall to what, he didn't know, but he was tumbling further and further down the rabbit hole. He didn't want to have things turn around and go back to the way they were.

That he knew.

He threw the informant's door open and walked inside to see Izaya typing away at his computer, his teeth faintly visible as he bit his lip. His concentration was completely focused on the computer. His hair shone in the monitor light. His red eyes skimmed through the screen text, his hands picking up ootoro every now and then to eat.

Shizuo watched him, standing in the doorway.

Thoughts died as he watched, entranced with the informant.

Another piece of ootoro was picked up, sucked into the informant's puckered lips, the informant shut his eyes as he savored the delicacy. It made the bodyguard shudder for reasons unfathomable.

He wanted to shut the door, to lock the world away and claim the man in every way known to man. He wanted to make it so no one could ever take the informant away from him. The informant to be so claimed, that no one could look at him without fearing Shizuo's wrath.

When these emotions and feelings had come into being, he didn't know, but they were there. He moved forth and stopped short of the informant.

"Shizu-chan. I thought you had left. I appreciate the bodyguarding, but as you can see, the fangirls are all obviously asleep and/or gone. You have done a good job of ridding me of all of them, however, I have no need of you. You can go home. I still like Kasuka more."

Shizuo stared at him, his ire towards his own brother increasing as the informant stated his own feeling. He didn't want to hear the informant ever say his brother's name…

Ever again.


	10. Instinct

People are so quick to make decisions, to defend themselves to the death for their beliefs. They follow their shepherds down the golden paths of their lives. If someone comes along or life throws them a curve or an obstacle, they must react through slow planning or instinct.

When these obstacles come like hurdles to a runner, instinct takes over. People make decisions based on offhand thoughts rather than reviewing their mental data.

Perhaps that was the cause of Izaya's current situation.

"I still like Kasuka more."

Simple. Basic.

It was meant to stir the man's rage. It was meant to get the blond who hated him with a deep passion to go into a fit of rage, threatening his head if he tried anything on the younger sibling that meant so much to him. It was meant to get Shizuo furious at him enough that he stormed from his office, rushing to his brother's side to protect him.

Of course Izaya would not take into account this certain situation's effect on the blond's behavior.

Papers flew into the air. His computer keyboard smashing to the floor as the monitor soon followed. The crashing and suddenly barren desktop surprised the informant. His eyes widened at the open space. Hands reached across the desk, pulling him forth from his computer chair. His knees slid across the open space to rest on the wood. Arm snaking around his waist and lips crashing into his, Izaya found himself swept into the embrace of the beast.

There was no halfway to Heiwajima Shizuo.

You were liked or you were hated.

You were friend or you were foe.

It would only stand to reason that his displays of affection were based on primal instinct. That he would be focused on nothing but the seeking and giving of pure pleasure and lust in its rawest form.

Izaya pressed his hands against the man's chest, the fabric of the man's uniform slightly damp, perhaps from rain outside? He tried to push the blond back, trying to break away from the kiss. A hand went to the back of his head, keeping his mouth right where the blond wanted it. The arm around his waist tightened.

Alphas were like that, assert dominance. That was their play after all. It was brains and brawn. The ultimate fight, the never ending struggle that they did the tango for; that's what this was.

Instinct was never Izaya's forte; nor was it his pleasure. There was little option at this point though. His carmine eyes shuttered to a close, his mouth opening to accept the blond more as his tongue shot out to fight for his right to air. He couldn't breathe with the heat of the blond, with how much the man was pressed against him, delving into his mouth.

Did he want to breathe though?

What was the purpose of air? There was no need for words. How did one speak with beasts if not through action?

So he did just that. He used actions, kissing the beast back. He felt and heard the moan a moment before he felt something slide up to rest on the desk next to his legs. Soon, another something followed. His world tilted back before Izaya saw the ceiling behind the bleach blond sun above him.

He didn't like that. No…

This was not his plan. There was no need for the ex-bartender in this. He had done his job and Izaya was grateful for his peace and quiet, however this was not in his cards.

Air rushed into his lungs suddenly, mocha eyes revealed from behind eyelids as the man panted a bit above him.

"…I… didn't know you swung that way, Shizu-chan…"

Ah, instinct. To taunt the man into embarrassment and hatred was Izaya's way. It was his shield, his monstrous strength to which the world could never compete. He was charismatic. It was a natural born talent.

However it did nothing except earn him a blinding smile, hands running along his waist as though he were an object for sale; being admired by a connoisseur looking to buy.

"I'll swing any way I want, I-za-ya-kun~"

Life threw obstacles all the time. It was… oh what was it called… God's great challenge for his people, yes. He tested them before they died through obstacle, showing them that great happiness could only come after struggle. That as deep as hatred could come, so too could love.

These obstacles were becoming a nuisance.

"Wouldn't your boss or little follower be a more suitable match for you, Shizu-chan? Someone who shares the shoe-sized intelligence of yours?"

The man leaned in, nipping along the informant's throat and neck. Every hair stood on end. Every nerve ending erupted with life, with shock and, frightfully, with arousal. He was not a man to seek out the pleasures of the body. He felt nothing behind his walls and locks. No attachment. No problem.

His arms grasp the bartender uniform as he heard the man's purred words. The sound was like sweet melted chocolate, pouring onto the dessert of the man's actions.

"I would rather have you."

Izaya hated sweet things, much preferring bitterness.

Bitterness was interesting. It held stories, it held bias and a realm of emotions that all led to showing the flaws of humans. It didn't show life's promises, only its pain and tortures. It showed character.

Sweetness…

The sun did not shine over Shinjuku's moon.

Izaya couldn't stop the man from shining over him though. He couldn't push Shizuo away at all. The man continued. Shizuo soon found his way into being able to tug the infamous jacket from Izaya's person, Izaya watching his coat flutter into the nothingness of his apartment. The black shirt following. Air caressed him as the clothing skin of his person was shed for this beast.

The camouflage that kept him in the shadows was gone, his pale skin a stark contrast to his desk. His red eyes looking up at Shizuo as the words vanished from his arsenal. What did one say to someone who was intent on having his way with them? Oh sorry, I don't feel like it did not seem to be an option.

At least, that was what his small fleeting thought was before those hands touched him again. His face grew to the color of his eyes as the honeyed words continued to be purred into his ear, filling him with the strange feeling in his person. The room became unbearably hot, too warm. Far too warm for him to be able to manage.

Was there still clothing on him?

He pressed to the suddenly cooler skin of the ex-bartender, finding solace. Teeth nipped at his ear, the sensitivity of the action sending Izaya into shivers.

"Izaya…" The man continued to speak, his words hypnotic. "Don't ever look for anyone else. Don't ever want or think of anyone else…"

So possessive, Izaya thought for a moment before that intoxicating touch went from his waist to his nipples, the thumbs successfully wiping his mind as though he were a computer to turn on at the touch of a button.

Had he been in a relationship before, Izaya wondered. Who had been under this man's attentions before? Who had been seduced on their own desk?

Was there refuge from the storm of the fortissimo of Ikebukuro?

"Don't ever want Kasuka or anyone else," the words demanded of him in that shockingly calm and dangerous tone, "you only want me… And I will never leave you…"

Never?

Those words were like a poison, taking over his system. The blond's name escaping the informant's mouth before the blond took what he wanted. He touched him, touched him in a manner to which Izaya had never felt before.

This touch, this need that the blond stirred in him. This was what those cheating loves sought from their affairs. This tantalizing passion that spiked his senses, this was lust.

Instincts. Izaya was reminded why he hated them now. It was for the rushes like this that people became sloppy, making decisions based on those instincts rather than the facts placed before them.

He had to escape. He had to run.

There was no escape though, only a mounting need to stay forming. He wanted to remain under this sunlight, to bask in the radiance of this new world he had stumbled upon through his instincts.

"Izaya," the voice purred.

"Please, Shizu…o…"

The fleeting touches vanished, his bottom receiving something slightly slender. It moved within him, foreign to the lands of Izaya's insides, but not unwelcomed. The informant could only remain in awe of these feelings. His insides being stretched through one after another, fingers slid inside him. With each finger, grew a greater need for more. He felt selfish, like he should deserve the right to covet whatever the blond placed inside of him. When the fingers vanished, his dug into Shizuo's back. His eyes blazed in outrage at the empty feeling.

Shizuo would not live if he remained unfilled.

The thought was short-lived as the man thrust himself inside of him. Izaya felt the urge to arch against him, an action that he was quickly happy about partaking in. The filled feeling went beyond that as pleasure wracked his frame. His sight going into and out of focus before his eyes completely shut.

The bartender's name came forth from his lips. Once. Twice. However many times he said it, it always seemed to make the man move faster. The speed increased more and more, driving him insane. How fast could he- and the tempo quickened.

The pleasure mounted.

Air left him, abandoning the land Izaya had come to.

There was no room with these instincts and basic emotions. There was no gray in his world right then. There was no middle ground.

There was hate, and there was love.

There was friend, and there was foe.

There was need and there was lust.

There was Shizuo and there was a need for more and more of him. Izaya held the man as his orgasm encroached upon his sanity. His body went limb in the blond's arms. The life ripped from his bones as the pleasure coursed through him. It poured forth from him going everywhere.

He could hardly focus as the blond carried him eventually from the desk, through the home until they reached the familiar territory of Izaya's bedroom.

"Get some rest, Izaya."

Rest…

There was no rest for the wicked, and it looked like he had bitten from the apple of discord.

~.~

_**A/N: Danke for the patience, hope you don't mind it being unedited. I need to bother to get a beta still. **_


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